If we stop and think about it, we'd realize that many of our life experiences occur in waves, or seasons. Throughout my journey as a dad, I've noticed that fatherhood follows a similar pattern. Currently, I'm in a season of fatherhood marked by noticeable personality evolution in both of my children. With my daughter being only two years old, I feel as though I'm transitioning from a season of non-stop nurturing—ensuring every bite is eaten, preventing food from falling to the ground, and sprinting to catch every tumble and fall. That season was fun, and I'm certain more nurturing moments lie ahead.
However, I'm thoroughly enjoying this new season. My son has just entered middle school, and my daughter is boldly asserting her individuality and independence, resisting my attempts to feed her or hold her hand as she navigates stairs, exclaiming, "NO, Daddy, I don't want it!" I've come to understand this as her way of saying, "Daddy, I do want it, but I want to do it myself." As I step back and let her take the lead, I find myself internally beaming with pride and amazement. (EDIT: this was originally written in December of 23’ and I am proud/sad to say that the code talk has ended, and she is verbally saying “No, I want to do it by myself, I got it!)
This season of fatherhood has taught me the importance of being observant and patient—lessons I believe are crucial for parents. We often feel the urge to intervene in every aspect of our children's lives. Let’s bring it back to my daughter wanting to walk down every single porch steps without my assistance. Do you think that she is missing her footing many times?; and needing to use two year old balancing acts to stay upright coming down the last step? Of course! However, embracing these moments teaches her perseverance and acceptance of failure. If during her newfound sense of independence; I am cleaning up after her every single bite and forcing her to hold my hand; it might instill a sense of inadequacy. This applies not just to toddlers but to children of any age.
Observing my son navigate his own failures has encouraged him to reflect and find solutions. Sure, I internally cringe when jelly from his knife drops on the floor. But remember, just a year ago, he wouldn't have even attempted to make his own sandwich. This season of observation and patience fills me with gratitude for being able to witness the subtle yet significant changes in both of my kids. This type of internal perspective shifting can go a long way.
In this season, patience truly is a virtue I've had to nurture more than ever before. Allowing my children to explore and learn from their own experiences not only builds their confidence but also teaches me the value of being present and supportive without shielding them from every challenge or failure.
As dads, we're privileged to witness our children's transformation and growth. The seasons of fatherhood offer us a unique opportunity to evolve alongside them, mirroring the natural changes that each season brings. Whether it's celebrating the newfound independence of a toddler or supporting the increasing self-reliance of a pre-teen, these changes mark our own growth as parents.
Fatherhood offers a front-row seat to our children's journey of self-discovery. As I type this, a heavy debate is transpiring around what my son wants to do next year about 7th grade basketball. Does he want to play for his middle school? Or does he want to just continue to play in his travel leagues? For me as a parent, I have fallen in love with the process of letting him choose what he thinks would be best for him. I've come to understand the significance of granting him the freedom to make choices and learn from both successes and failures.
This season has also underscored the importance of communication and being a supportive presence. It's about finding the right balance between giving space and offering unwavering support through the ups and downs of adolescence.
Moreover, this journey has reinforced the significance of being present. In today's fast-paced world, the seasons of fatherhood remind us to slow down and cherish every moment. Whether it's witnessing my daughter's milestones or my son tackling new challenges, these moments are where true joy and connection lie.
Dadclusion: Embracing the changing seasons of fatherhood is a testament to our growth as parents and the incredible journey of personal evolution. From the nurturing infancy stages to the burgeoning independence of adolescence, each season imparts lessons in patience, adaptability, and the importance of being present. As fathers, witnessing our children blossom into who they're meant to be is a privilege. It's in embracing these seasons that we uncover the true beauty and depth of fatherhood.