As dads, we often focus on providing and protecting, but what about self-reflection? These five journal prompts, born from my own journey, will help you dive deeper into who you are as a father and what truly matters most.
What’s the one thing we rarely give ourselves as dads?
No, it’s not time or space; although those are in short supply too. It’s reflection. We’re so busy being everything for everyone else; providers, protectors, cheerleaders, disciplinarians; that we forget to check in with the one person at the center of it all: ourselves.
Six years ago, I started journaling to escape the stress of a grueling custody battle and a perceived lack of personal accomplishments. Let me tell you; it was not some grand epiphany or a perfectly planned habit. It was messy, raw, and inconsistent at first. But over time, those scribbled thoughts turned into clarity. Journaling became my mirror; showing me where I was thriving as a dad and where I needed to grow.
The lessons I’ve learned from those pages? Life-changing.
I didn’t always journal. In fact, when I first picked up a pen, it felt…awkward. Like, “Am I really doing this?” But those awkward scribbles turned into clarity.
Just recently, I had an experience that really drove this home. I was on TikTok, trying to figure out why my content didn’t seem to be connecting with dads. Moms were engaging, women were commenting, but dads? Not so much.
One reply stood out: a guy posted an entire video critique. He said I was “trying too hard to get dads to be nurturers” and that dads aren’t meant to be emotional or nurturing ; they’re supposed to be the tough ones. At first, his words stung. I felt myself getting defensive, like, What do you mean? But as I sat with his comment, I realized he had done me a favor.
His critique helped me understand something critical: not every dad is my audience, and that’s okay. I’m not here to speak to every father; I’m here for the dads who are willing to break the old molds, who want to show up with vulnerability, strength, and balance. That’s why I created these prompts; to help dads like us reflect and grow in ways society doesn’t always encourage.
Here are 5 prompts from my 365 Dad Journal that transformed not just my approach to parenting but my understanding of who I am as a man:
1. What would your younger self think of the father you have become?
When my son was born, I thought I’d be just like my dad; a workaholic. During this time, I was a semi-professional recording artist. I even told myself I’d write five songs a day and grind in the studio to provide for my kid. But when Kaleb arrived, something shifted. I realized I didn’t want to be the dad who dropped off a bag of money but missed the basketball games. My younger self would be proud of the dad I’ve become, not because I’m perfect, but because I’ve prioritized connection over career.
2. Fatherhood is a journey that won’t be perfect every day. How can you show compassion to yourself on tough parenting days?
In those moments, it’s easy to spiral into guilt. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Journaling about those tough days helps me forgive myself and reset. It reminds me that being human doesn’t make me a bad dad; it makes me a relatable one.
3. Write a letter to your younger self pre-fatherhood. Tell your younger self the top two mistakes you have made as a father.
When Kaleb was younger, I’d raise my voice way more than I should have. Why? Because that’s what I grew up with. But journaling about it helped me see the cycle I was perpetuating; and gave me the tools to break it. Now, I parent with intention, not out of habit.
4. What would your definition of true forgiveness be to your child(ren)? Have you ever experienced true forgiveness in your own life?
I want my kids to understand that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s not about condoning behavior; it’s about freeing your heart.
5. Reflect on a challenging situation where you were disappointed in the level of support your father/father figure provided. How can you learn from it for your own fatherhood journey?
My dad loved me, but he wasn’t emotionally present. He never said, “I love you,” or gave me a hug after a game. Due to work, he barely attempted them. That lack of emotional connection shaped me, but it didn’t break me.
Now, I make it a point to tell both of my children how much I love them; as often as I can. Whether it’s a sweaty hug after basketball or a random “I’m proud of you” during dinner, I’m building the connection I wish I had.
These prompts aren’t just about journaling; they’re about growth. They’re about becoming the dad you want to be, not the dad society tells you to be.
So grab a pen. Start with one prompt. And watch how it transforms the way you see yourself; and your kids.