I noticed something profound at the park the other day.
My son Kaleb, who turned 14 two days ago; who is 6'1" and in eighth grade, sprinted toward the playground slides with the same unstoppable excitement as his then, 3-year-old sister.
My first instinct? "Kaleb, come on. Look at the sign... you can't be over 12."
But then it hit me: I was rushing him through a season I'd one day desperately miss.
I call this the "Time Travel Trap."
We are physically in the room, but mentally, we are already in the car driving to the next task. While my daughter is putting on her shoes, I’m mentally at my son’s basketball tournament. While watching my son practice, I’m mentally making lunch.
We miss the micro-moments of growth because we are rarely fully present.
🎥 Deep Dive: I just posted a full breakdown of this "Time Travel Trap" (and the moment I realized I was "over-watering" my kids) on the YouTube channel. [Watch the full video here].
The Cost of "Hurry Up"
I remember sitting courtside at my son's basketball game when his shoelace came untied. The ref paused the game. I panicked, wondering if I needed to run out and help him.
Then Kaleb simply tied his shoe and continued playing.
My first thought? "When did I miss that he could do this?"
Many of us approach parenting with a checklist mentality. We are so focused on getting through the day that we don't notice the incremental development happening right before our eyes.
We think being a "good dad" means planning for the next phase. But this mindset robs us of the joy available right now.
The Solution: The Present Season Framework
You can’t just "will" yourself to be present. You need a system. Here is the framework I use to stop the time travel:
- Notice the drift: Catch yourself when you are mentally fast-forwarding.
- Ground yourself: Bring awareness back to the physical sensation of now (the sound of their voice, the look on their face).
- Find the Appreciation: Identify one specific thing about this developmental stage that you will miss in 5 years.
- Release the Control: Stop trying to "fix" the moment. Witness it instead.
📓 The Tool I Use: I admit, sticking to this framework is hard when life gets chaotic. That’s why I don’t rely on willpower. I use my 365 Dad Journal to catch these moments.
I specifically designed the prompts to force me to slow down and answer: "What did I notice today that I would have otherwise missed?"
If you feel like life is moving too fast, this is the best tool to slow it down. [Grab your copy here].
The Bottom Line
The season you asked the universe to bring you might already be here, but you’re missing it because you’re looking toward the next one.
Don't over-water the plant. Let them grow. And make sure you're actually there to watch it happen.
See you next Tuesday,
Odeani